I remember when we were kids, and we were losing a game of four square, the sun would conveniently be in our eyes. That’s why we lost. It wasn’t because we sucked.

Anyone notice how Hurricane Gustav has conveniently prevented George W. Bush and Dick Cheney, the two least popular men in the Republican Party (if not the country), from speaking at the Republican Convention today? If they were anyone else, I might suspect they were exploiting a disaster for political purposes. But since these people have never done anything like that before, I’m sure they only have the interests of the citizens of New Orleans at heart. Thank God.

**UPDATE– Since the hurricane failed to deliver the blow the Media had hoped for (CNN’s now calling themselves the “election center” again, after being the “hurricane center” just yesterday), Bush is going to have to speak today (Tuesday). This reminds me of the times in the Eighties when I was supposed to do homework but got sidetracked by Robotech and He-Man. Then, of course, I had to ride my bike around the block a few times before dinner. And after dinner, there was always Three’s Company or the Cosby Show. Then, probably because of the bike riding, I was tired. Who could blame me? In the midst of self-hate and panic the next morning, I would sometimes see rainclouds gathering beyond the avocado tree in our backyard. I would pray for a hurricane or a twister to cause massive carnage and destruction so I wouldn’t have to face an angry teacher. But since this was Los Angeles, I never had that kind of luck. I always had to own up to my mistakes. But I always had a two hour school bus-ride to either do my homework or (almost as often) to think up a good excuse.

Maybe when he speaks at the convention (well, not really AT the convention, he’ll be putting in a brief cameo on video from the White House) Bush will offer one hell of an excuse tonight for the last eight years. One we haven’t already heard a thousand times, I mean.