TRANSCRIPT: Dude, I don’t think you know women as well as you think you do. I mean, I did everything you said, again. I implied she was getting old and fat so she’d become insecure… C-Dog’s Incredibly bad advice 50¢. …And be so grateful for my presence that she’d do ANYTHING to keep me around. Didn’t work. Did you remember to tell her how hot your last girlfriend was? D’oh!

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