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I once wrote an article about pickup lines and flirting. Oddly enough, when person #1 says she did something because YOU (person #2) failed to so so and so in the past, this often produces predictable results which enhance person #1 and depreciate person #2.
This type of verbal (assault) only happens when person #2 has a low self esteem or is insecure. The logic of the argument is person #1 chose X as an action BECAUSE person #2 failed to do something, and therefore, person #2 should feel responsible and want to "make it up" by changing things in the present or doing something to salvage or make amends for his past failure.
That is a VERY effective pick up line formula if there is a hidden or ulterior motive. Often, person #2 is being used. It works, but only if person #2 buys into it. I categorized this type of statement as unhealthy communication.
By thinking and then speaking this way, one is able to escape responsibility and also formulate a rationale for not taking steps to improve a situation.
A healthy response to this verbal assault would be to say something like, "That appears to be a compliment, but really it is not. I think the fact you latched on to someone means you put yourself in a position of being stuck. Perhaps you were looking for someone to give you happiness or a feeling of being worthy. No one can do that for you. Not him, and not me. In fact, I don't appreciate being blamed for your sorrows. I'm sorry bad things are happening to you, but I don't deserve to be verbally put in that position of being responsible for your choices in life."
MisTeryWriter, where is the article you wrote published? Is it online?
I'm a ghost writer. That means it is all in someone else's name. Sorry.
By the way, if it is meant to be manipulation, then as soon as person #1 gets what she wants from person #2, then person #2 would no longer be needed. He'd be expendable.
I'd say I want to get this in writing, but it's already there. Thanks for the info, MisTeryWriter.
For a free comic, it sure seems to be paying off for us readers. =D
I agree. Thank you, MisTery Writer!
[youtube a8exIlMGhgk http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8exIlMGhgk youtube]
Ouch Ouch Ouch. Back to industrial ping-pong.
I understand. Thanks for your original comment and your reply to my inquiry!
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