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I once wrote an article about pickup lines and flirting. Oddly enough, when person #1 says she did something because YOU (person #2) failed to so so and so in the past, this often produces predictable results which enhance person #1 and depreciate person #2.
This type of verbal (assault) only happens when person #2 has a low self esteem or is insecure. The logic of the argument is person #1 chose X as an action BECAUSE person #2 failed to do something, and therefore, person #2 should feel responsible and want to "make it up" by changing things in the present or doing something to salvage or make amends for his past failure.
That is a VERY effective pick up line formula if there is a hidden or ulterior motive. Often, person #2 is being used. It works, but only if person #2 buys into it. I categorized this type of statement as unhealthy communication.
By thinking and then speaking this way, one is able to escape responsibility and also formulate a rationale for not taking steps to improve a situation.
A healthy response to this verbal assault would be to say something like, "That appears to be a compliment, but really it is not. I think the fact you latched on to someone means you put yourself in a position of being stuck. Perhaps you were looking for someone to give you happiness or a feeling of being worthy. No one can do that for you. Not him, and not me. In fact, I don't appreciate being blamed for your sorrows. I'm sorry bad things are happening to you, but I don't deserve to be verbally put in that position of being responsible for your choices in life."
By the way, if it is meant to be manipulation, then as soon as person #1 gets what she wants from person #2, then person #2 would no longer be needed. He'd be expendable.
[youtube a8exIlMGhgk http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8exIlMGhgk youtube]
Ouch Ouch Ouch. Back to industrial ping-pong.
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