Lemont’s Epic Passionate Night With the Woman from Vancouver
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October 6th, 2015

Lemont’s Epic Passionate Night With the Woman from Vancouver

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Passion is important. Passion is an essential part of the human experience. If you haven’t experienced at least one relationship passionate enough to end in a misdemeanor criminal indictment, you aren’t truly living.

The Candorville Top Ten Elements of Passion List (don’t settle down with anyone who’s never done any of this for you):

10. Hours feel like minutes. Minutes feel like heartbeats.

9. The entire universe is no bigger than the space between the two of you

8. Epically fogged car windows

7. Rug burns, grass stains, hickey, seatbelt impression, twisted ankle… any other badge-of-honor injury

6. The other person’s thumb brushing along your palm makes your toes curl or go numb

5. They bite you and you don’t want to press charges

4. You feel like you’re falling into their eyes

3. Before you part, you go in for “one last kiss” at least 50 times.

2. You really, really want to make them a mix-tape (or “custom playlist” for anyone born after 1990)

1. Their voice sounds like music, their lips taste like honey, and their scent makes you hungry (hopefully not because they smell like bacon)


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