Tim Hardaway can’t stand gay people. Sensible people can’t stand Tim Hardaway. Unfortunately, there are an awful lot of senseless people in this world.Look for cartoons on this next week here, or in your Candorville-carrying local paper.

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Today’s random bit of wisdom from Conservapedia:

Recently there has been a push by liberals for “same-sex marriage” however this supposed form of “marriage” has no basis in scripture, common law, the constitution, biology, or American social tradition. Then again, interracial marriage was considered to be taboo 40 years ago. 

I didn’t realize there was a basis for heterosexual marriage in biology. I suppose that would explain the abundance of “just married” signs on dog houses. It’s “Rex” and “Daisy,” not “Rex” and “Spot.”I also didn’t realize there was a “basis” for heterosexual marriage in particular in the U.S. Constitution. I really need to learn to read that document between the lines, since that’s where so many Americans seem to find support for their theories.

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Nevada Senator John Ensign (R), “a leading conservative mentioned as a presidential candidate,” told reporters today that he is shocked and disappointed to learn he had an extramarital affair with an ex campaign staffer. He went on to demand his own resignation.

“This wouldn’t be making the national news if it was an ordinary affair,” Ensign said. “But I’m the guy who went on national TV and suggested that my fellow Republican Senator Larry Craig resign because he admitted to lewd conduct.”

Indeed, this is not the first time Senator Ensign has taken to the airwaves to demand accountability from another senator. In 2007, when Republican Senator Larry Craig was caught and convicted of trolling for sex in an airport men’s room, Ensign was unforgiving, saying “This wouldn’t be making the national news if it was an ordinary misdemeanor. He pled guilty to something that, you know lewd behavior, that’s not the behavior a United States senator should be engaged in.”

When he was informed that Nevada Senator John Ensign has praised Senator Ensign’s decision to call for Senator Ensign’s resignation, Senator Ensign explained that conservatives like him consider adultery to be lewd conduct, no matter with whom it’s committed. “If I held myself to a different standard than that to which I held Larry Craig, I would be admitting two things: First, I’d be admitting I’m a homophobe because I think Craig’s failed attempt at a homosexual tryst was worse than my successful – and very sweaty – heterosexual boot knocking. Second, I’d be admitting I’m a hypocrite. And I’m no hypocrite.”

So far, Ensign has received no reply from Ensign.