Posts Tagged ‘morons’

Al Qaida hates Indiana, loves NYC!

For anyone who’s worried about Al Qaida coming after you: Did you know that it’s much safer for you to live in the crown of the statue of liberty than by your neighborhood donut shop?Also, be sure you stay away from your local bean fest. Al Qaida apparently hates beans. You’d be much safer going to the top of the Empire State Building, apparently.Y’know, our current leaders operate with such brazen ineptitude and thievery that it’s almost as if they feel they don’t have to worry about elections…

The President and the Pig

Will Ferrell‘s got nothing on this Bush impersonator. It is an impersonator, right? Please tell me this is a joke:

Candorville on Israel

Israel is our ally, and rightly so. And any nation has a right to defend itself. Almost everyone agrees about those two precepts. I believe Israel has a right to exist, and just as with the U.S., I’m going to speak out when I think their tactics are either inhumane or counterproductive. The best way to ensure your nation’s longevity is to avoid behaving in a way that costs you the support of the world and causes much of the Arab world, which increasingly held Hezbollah in disfavor, to change its mind. Today’s Candorville questions the wisdom of Israel putting a rush order on cluster bombs that have a wide radius of destruction if what they were trying to do in the Lebanon War was be precise and avoid civilian casualties. One of my favorite newspaper editors received a phone call about that, and passed it on to me (I’ve removed the names):

Promised the reader I would pass this along. Just received a telephone call from a reader regarding your strip today. (name redacted) called to request that you write an “equally hilarious strip about Palistinian suicide bombers” —

My response:

Hi (name redacted), If you wouldn’t mind, please suggest to the reader that he check out yesterday’s equally-hilarious strip about an Iranian president who wants to wipe Israel off the map. I’m always intrigued at how people can completely ignore the strips they agree with but zero in on the one they find objectionable.You might also tell him that responsible, rational governments such as Israel’s should behave with more restraint and wisdom than a suicide bomber. We shouldn’t excuse either our own actions or those of our allies by comparing them to the despicable actions of terrorists. Otherwise, what makes “us” better than “them”?

Islamists to Pope: Stop saying we’re violent or we’ll kill you.

So the Pope’s been taking quite a bit of heat for quoting a Medieval text that described Mohammed as “inhuman” and evil (according to the Koran itself, he was a brutal warrior and assassin). The Pope didn’t mention the brutality of the early Catholic Church. I guess he forgot about that. But what do we expect… he’s the Pope. Neglecting to mention the Church’s own brutal history is disappointing, but not exactly surprising.Here’s what bugs me more:Is it just me, or are killings, fire-bombing of churches and wanton destruction a piss-poor way of responding to someone who quotes a statement about your religion being violent?Now, the man who tried to kill the last Pope warns of a potential assassination should Pope Benedict visit Turkey. From London’s Evening Standard:

Pope Benedict faces a growing chorus of demands to make an unequivocal apology for remarks seen as portraying Islam as a violent faith, despite attempts by Western leaders and churchmen to defuse the crisis.The calls came as it emerged papal hitman Mehmet Ali Agca, who is serving a life sentence for the attempted assassination of Pope John Paul II in May 1981, has written to Pope Benedict XVI from jail, warning him not to go to Turkey as planned in November in the light of his remarks. Agca, a Turk gave his ominous warning in a letter to an Italian daily newspaper. For many Muslims, the Pope’s attempt to explain himself on Sunday did not go far enough and observers were waiting to see if he would speak about it again at his general audience at the Vatican.The Pope enraged Muslims in a speech a week ago in Germany quoting 14th century Byzantine Emperor Manuel II Palaeologus, who said everything the Prophet Mohammad brought was evil “such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached”.The leader of the world’s 1.1 billion Roman Catholics said on Sunday he was ‘deeply sorry’ for the reaction caused – but stopped short of apologising for his words or retracting them. In a telegram to the order of an Italian nun killed in Somalia who may be the crisis’ first victim…Read the rest…

Most Muslims in the world haven’t responded to the Pope’s predictably one-sided comments by being total whack-jobs (and some have denounced the violence) — but as usual when it comes to organized religion, the few morons out there are doing everything they can to validate the negative stereotypes.

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What a surprise…

This is all over the conservative blogosphere. Can someone explain to me how a person can actually be nonchalant – if not downright proud – of using divisive wedge issues to drum up support they otherwise wouldn’t earn?

ROVE TIMEStaffers in the White House have been talking up the possibilities of an “October Surprise” or two leading into the mid-term elections. They say the President feels confident he can still play a role in the election, that he intends to campaign hard for Republicans, and that on the policy front, there are a couple of issues that can be used as wedges along the way.-from the conservative mag, The American Spectator 

Calling all spinners — explain how Bush has “made us safer.”

There are times when being right makes you the happiest person in the world, and then there are the times it makes you crap your pants. Guess which one of those times this is. I want every angry, slogan-spouting flag-waiver who’s ever written in ordering me to “leave the President alone, he’s making us safer” to take a second, put down your copy of the National Review (the one with the Sean Hannity centerfold), and write to me again. Write to me and explain why our intelligence agencies now say the Iraq occupation has increased the threat of terror.

WASHINGTON, Sept. 23 — A stark assessment of terrorism trends by American intelligence agencies has found that the American invasion and occupation of Iraq has helped spawn a new generation of Islamic radicalism and that the overall terrorist threat has grown since the Sept. 11 attacks.The classified National Intelligence Estimate attributes a more direct role to the Iraq war in fueling radicalism than that presented either in recent White House documents or in a report released Wednesday by the House Intelligence Committee, according to several officials in Washington involved in preparing the assessment or who have read the final document.The intelligence estimate, completed in April, is the first formal appraisal of global terrorism by United States intelligence agencies since the Iraq war began, and represents a consensus view of the 16 disparate spy services inside government. Titled “Trends in Global Terrorism: Implications for the United States,’’ it asserts that Islamic radicalism, rather than being in retreat, has metastasized and spread across the globe.An opening section of the report, “Indicators of the Spread of the Global Jihadist Movement,” cites the Iraq war as a reason for the diffusion of jihad ideology. The report “says that the Iraq war has made the overall terrorism problem worse,” said one American intelligence official.More than a dozen United States government officials and outside experts were interviewed for this article, and all spoke only on condition of anonymity because they were discussing a classified intelligence document. The officials included employees of several government agencies, and both supporters and critics of the Bush administration. All of those interviewed had either seen the final version of the document or participated in the creation of earlier drafts. These officials discussed some of the document’s general conclusions but not details, which remain highly classified.Officials with knowledge of the intelligence estimate said it avoided specific judgments about the likelihood that terrorists would once again strike on United States soil. The relationship between the Iraq war and terrorism, and the question of whether the United States is safer, have been subjects of persistent debate since the war began in 2003.National Intelligence Estimates are the most authoritative documents that the intelligence community produces on a specific national security issue, and are approved by John D. Negroponte, director of national intelligence. Their conclusions are based on analysis of raw intelligence collected by all of the spy agencies.More…

Clinton on Faux: How could Roger Ailes be so confused?

There’s been so much whine coming from the direction of the “Fair & Balanced” network that you’d think they were based in Napa. “Boo hoo, Bill Clinton raised his voice! Waaaah, Bill Clinton looked at me angry! Mommy! Mommy! Mommmmyyyyyy!” Today, Fox even tried to portray Clinton’s forceful response to their interviewer as an attack upon all of journalism. Why Ailes confused Fox News with journalism, I have no idea.To hear them tell it, Clinton ripped off his shirt, turned lime green and feasted on poor Chris Wallace’s intestines before relieving himself on the First Amendment. That’s not exactly how it happened.Meanwhile Keith Olberman has a different take on it:

Get ready for President Clinton

Dick Cheney, the man who’s been consistently wrong about every major prediction, took a break from gathering flowers and candy from the Baghdad streets to weigh in on the ’08 election:

US Vice President Dick Cheney said that Democratic Senator Hillary Clinton will not win the White House in 2008 and would not make a good president if she does. 

I guess this is proof positive that Hillary Clinton will win the White House in 2008 and will make a good president when she does. I’m not much for dynastic presidencies. I think it’s dangerous when running the country becomes a family business, so somebody, anybody, tell Cheney to shut up before his astonishing bizarro-powers jinx another Clinton into the White House.By the way, if the President is serious about the need for less polarization in Washington, he might want to mention that to his hatchet-man:

Cheney, who in October had called Hillary Clinton a “formidable candidate” who “could win” the race to replace US President George W. Bush, told CNN television “I don’t” think she would make a good leader. Asked why, Cheney replied: “Because she’s a Democrat. I don’t agree with her philosophically and from a policy standpoint.”

Best way to ruin your astronaut career

Police said Nowak drove 900 miles, donned a disguise and was armed with a BB gun and pepper spray when she confronted a woman she believed was a competitor for the affections of Navy Cmdr. William Oefelein, an unmarried fellow astronaut.Oefelein, 41, piloted the space shuttle Discovery in December. He and Nowak trained together but never flew a mission together.Nowak told police that her relationship with Oefelein was “more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship,” according to an arrest affidavit. Inside Nowak’s vehicle, which was parked at a nearby motel, authorities found a pepper spray package, an unused BB-gun cartridge, latex gloves and e-mails between Oefelein and Colleen Shipman.They also found a letter “that indicated how much Mrs. Nowak loved Mr. Oefelein” and Shipman’s home address, the arrest affidavit said.Police said Nowak told them that she only wanted to scare Shipman into talking to her about her relationship and didn’t want to harm her.”If you were just going to talk to someone, I don’t know that you would need a wig, a trench coat, an air cartridge BB gun and pepper spray,” Jones said.More…

And that’s not all.

Nowak raced from Houston to Orlando wearing diapers in the car so she wouldn’t have to stop to go to the bathroom, authorities said.More…

More Conservapedia Wisdom: Marriage

Today’s random bit of wisdom from Conservapedia:

Recently there has been a push by liberals for “same-sex marriage” however this supposed form of “marriage” has no basis in scripture, common law, the constitution, biology, or American social tradition. Then again, interracial marriage was considered to be taboo 40 years ago. 

I didn’t realize there was a basis for heterosexual marriage in biology. I suppose that would explain the abundance of “just married” signs on dog houses. It’s “Rex” and “Daisy,” not “Rex” and “Spot.”I also didn’t realize there was a “basis” for heterosexual marriage in particular in the U.S. Constitution. I really need to learn to read that document between the lines, since that’s where so many Americans seem to find support for their theories.