CANDORVILLE daily comics by Darrin Bell » morons

Al Qaida hates Indiana, loves NYC!

Blog: July 14th, 2006

For anyone who’s worried about Al Qaida coming after you: Did you know that it’s much safer for you to live in the crown of the statue of liberty than by your neighborhood donut shop?Also, be sure you stay away from your local bean fest. Al Qaida apparently hates beans. You’d be much safer going […]

The President and the Pig

Blog: July 18th, 2006

Will Ferrell’s got nothing on this Bush impersonator. It is an impersonator, right? Please tell me this is a joke:

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Candorville on Israel

Blog: August 23rd, 2006

Israel is our ally, and rightly so. And any nation has a right to defend itself. Almost everyone agrees about those two precepts. I believe Israel has a right to exist, and just as with the U.S., I’m going to speak out when I think their tactics are either inhumane or counterproductive. The best way […]

Islamists to Pope: Stop saying we’re violent or we’ll kill you.

Blog: September 20th, 2006

So the Pope’s been taking quite a bit of heat for quoting a Medieval text that described Mohammed as “inhuman” and evil (according to the Koran itself, he was a brutal warrior and assassin). The Pope didn’t mention the brutality of the early Catholic Church. I guess he forgot about that. But what do we […]

What a surprise…

Blog: September 22nd, 2006

This is all over the conservative blogosphere. Can someone explain to me how a person can actually be nonchalant - if not downright proud - of using divisive wedge issues to drum up support they otherwise wouldn’t earn?
ROVE TIMEStaffers in the White House have been talking up the possibilities of an “October Surprise” or two […]

Calling all spinners — explain how Bush has "made us safer."

Blog: September 25th, 2006

There are times when being right makes you the happiest person in the world, and then there are the times it makes you crap your pants. Guess which one of those times this is. I want every angry, slogan-spouting flag-waiver who’s ever written in ordering me to “leave the President alone, he’s making us safer” […]

Clinton on Faux: How could Roger Ailes be so confused?

Blog: September 27th, 2006

There’s been so much whine coming from the direction of the “Fair & Balanced” network that you’d think they were based in Napa. “Boo hoo, Bill Clinton raised his voice! Waaaah, Bill Clinton looked at me angry! Mommy! Mommy! Mommmmyyyyyy!” Today, Fox even tried to portray Clinton’s forceful response to their interviewer as an attack […]

Get ready for President Clinton

Blog: January 25th, 2007

Dick Cheney, the man who’s been consistently wrong about every major prediction, took a break from gathering flowers and candy from the Baghdad streets to weigh in on the ‘08 election:
US Vice President Dick Cheney said that Democratic Senator Hillary Clinton will not win the White House in 2008 and would not make a good […]

Best way to ruin your astronaut career

Blog: February 6th, 2007

Police said Nowak drove 900 miles, donned a disguise and was armed with a BB gun and pepper spray when she confronted a woman she believed was a competitor for the affections of Navy Cmdr. William Oefelein, an unmarried fellow astronaut.Oefelein, 41, piloted the space shuttle Discovery in December. He and Nowak trained together but […]

More Conservapedia Wisdom: Marriage

Blog: March 15th, 2007

Today’s random bit of wisdom from Conservapedia:
Recently there has been a push by liberals for “same-sex marriage” however this supposed form of “marriage” has no basis in scripture, common law, the constitution, biology, or American social tradition. Then again, interracial marriage was considered to be taboo 40 years ago. 
I didn’t realize there was a basis […]