Geekgasm time. I’m going to go stand in line for this right now. If the trailer doesn’t load, go here.

Actual transcript (as best I could remember it) of a phone call I took while hiking at Griffith Park this morning. Normally, since I was hiking I’d have let it go straight to voicemail, but I was waiting for an important phone call. And this wasn’t it:

DB (me): Hello?

PHONE: Hi, I’m calling from Disney’s El Capitan Theater to see if you received the mail we sent you!

DB: How did you get this number?

PHONE: Did you get our beautiful full color flyer announcing the Race to Witch Mountain?

DB: Which mountain is that?

PHONE: (silence)

DB: I can’t help you if you don’t tell me which mountain.

PHONE: The Race to Witch Mountain.

DB: I don’t know, you’re the one who called me, you tell me which mountain.

PHONE: No, the movie. Race to Witch Mountain.

DB: Who’s on second?

PHONE: Um… It’s only one movie, but I can tell you about future shows if you’d like. Did you receive our mailing about the movie which is called “Race to Witch Mountain”?

DB: Who is this?

PHONE: (silence)

DB: Hello?

PHONE: Can… Do you have a son or daughter or grandson around I can talk to, sir?

DB: They’re dead. Zoo accident. Feathers… screaming… I don’t like to talk about it.

PHONE: I’m sorry, sir.

DB: (silence)

PHONE: So, I was asking, did you receive our beautiful full color brochure about El Capitan’s “Race to Witch Mountain”?

DB: Yes, I got your brochure, and I’m very glad you called because I have some questions that I think only you could answer.

PHONE: I’d be very happy to, sir!

DB: My question is a three part question, really.

PHONE: Go right ahead!

DB: Where do you guys get your hot dogs, because they’re the best hot dogs I’ve ever had in my whole life. Also, are you seriously calling me to ask whether I got the junk mail you sent me? When did THAT start? And lastly, how did you get this number?

PHONE: (silence)

DB: Y’know, because this is really weird. Here I am hiking in a beautiful park, and all of a sudden I get a phone call from someone asking if I got their junk mail. Doesn’t that seem a little weird to you? Please take me off your phone list. Please.

PHONE: Thank you, sir, and if you have any more questions about “Race to Witch Mountain” or you would like to order tickets, feel free to call the number in your brochure.

DB: Is there a number for hot dogs? I do really like those.

PHONE: (click)

In honor of Star Trek week, here’s by far the funniest Star Trek vs. Star Wars clip from Youtube:

I just had to repost this comment some guy posted at TrekBBS. If you haven’t yet seen Avatar, don’t read the rest of this until you do, or it’ll spoil the ending:

GotNoRice says:
I watched the movie and enjoyed it but did not really care much for the plot. I don’t like how easily the main characters just turned on their entire race and then toward the end of the movie Humans were getting killed left and right with little regard like they were no different than any other generic “bad guys”. I ended up sympathizing with the humans and wishing that the main character was going to get killed lol

Honestly who cares about a bunch of random primitive aliens? If the main character had just stuck to the original plan and kept providing intelligence, a lot of human lives could have been saved. It sounds like they already made a lot of effort trying to educate the aliens in schools, etc but were snubbed.

The funny part is that they are assuming that their offensive toward the humans toward the end means they will leave and won’t come back. More likely the humans will be back but with bigger guns next time, possibly nukes.

I’d imagine the aliens life could have been enhanced quite a bit by earth technology if the aliens weren’t closed minded religious fundamentalists.

Interesting. Instead of heading back to Earth, Parker Selfridge decided to head to TrekBBS.

Anyway, I went in expecting great FX, a crap story and wooden dialogue, because I’d spent too much time on the Internet. But I’d forgotten that the Internet is a big, jaded hipster whose favorite hobby is complaining to whoever’ll listen that almost nothing is sophisticated enough for him.

What I found was an adult, sci fi version of Disney’s “Pocahontas” (or Dances with Wolves, or Fern Gully, or any number of films about an invader who grows a conscience when he discovers the natives aren’t “savages”) with a Pocahontas who’s every bit as badass as any male warrior. It has probably the strongest female character I’ve ever seen in sci fi. I loved the story, the dialogue, the acting, and the FX. I’ll be seeing it again. I hope you all go see it. It deserves every last one of its billion dollars.

A good friend just reminded me that today, 7/6/10, is only five years before the day Marty McFly came to in the future, in “Back to the Future 2.” You people have FIVE YEARS to give me my flying car, my self-tying shoes and my hoverboard, or there’s gonna be trouble. Get to work!