Faux News affiliates sure are subtle, aren’t they?

Don’t think subliminal crap like this works? Take a look at how well it works even on people who make their living at it (watch it through to the end for the payoff):

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I saw something on YouTube the other day (I’ve posted it below) that I found disturbing. But luckily, I had the foresight to pull out and leaf through my tattered copy of The Modern American’s Guide for Interpreting Other People’s Behavior: Women/Minority/Gay Edition™. I carry it with me everywhere I go. It comes in handy in department stores, for instance.Just a few months ago at Target, I found myself wondering why a security guard seemed to be following me at a distance as I perused the cargo shorts aisle. I started to feel nervous. I kept walking, and the nerves turned to incredulity, the kind where the world sort of slows down and you start to feel detached, like your’e watching something absurd instead of living it. I saw his eyes poke around the corner behind the socks to look at me looking at black boxer briefs. I started to feel my ears burn as the detachment faded into anger. That’s when the manual saved me. It was right there on page 92, under “The Target Security Guard.” It said “He’s not suspicious of you because you’re Black/Mixed/Whatever-the-hell-you-are, he’s suspicious of you because you’re a teen-ager.” That would’ve made sense years ago, when I first bought the manual, but what the hell, I’m not old yet. It could still apply.Now that was a relief. Life is easier with the manual. People seem much less ridiculous. Sunsets are rosier. The air even smells fresher, somehow.So when I saw a link that had the words “Fox” and “Obama” in the same sentence, I immediately reached again for that manual. I sure am glad I did. Watch this clip, and then I’ll tell you how The Modern American’s Guide for Interpreting Other People’s Behavior: Women/Minority/Gay Edition™ helped me put it all in perspective:

Now, according to The Modern American’s Guide for Interpreting Other People’s Behavior: Women/Minority/Gay Edition™, there was absolutely nothing racist about any of this. Here’s what it said, right there on page 18,978:

Clip from Fox News’ allegedly satirical take-off on The Daily Show: “The 1/2 Hour News Hour”1. Time index 01:01- Masses of dancing Africans are shown while Fox mentions Barack Obama supporters.This is not – we repeat, NOT – Fox News intentionally trying to scare White viewers with the thought of hordes of unruly dark people taking over the streets. They probably just couldn’t find any other footage on such short notice.2. Time index 01:14- “BO Magazine”This is not Fox using racial code words & concepts in an ongoing campaign to help as many of their viewers as possible get back in touch with their inner bigots. This is not – we repeat, NOT – Fox News dredging up the age-old stereotype about Black people smelling bad. That stereotype hasn’t been widely used for at least several decades. Several years. Well, at least several months. So it’s unreasonable to think anyone at Fox has heard of that stereotype, much less that anyone there would intentionally employ it.2. Time index 01:37- “Organize Your House – and your Senate”Fox News is not trying to conjur up the image of a Black housekeeper. In fact, this is more evocative of magazines aimed at housewives. So maybe they’re complimenting Barack Obama’s wife. Have you ever stopped to think of that?2. Time index 01:46- “Barack vs. Tiger Woods: Who’s More Diverse? “This is not an example of Fox News mocking the very existence of mixed-race Americans in order to reinforce deep-seeded White resentment. They’re actually praising diversity – showing how grateful they are that we live in a country where anyone can marry and raise kids with whomever they want (‘long as they’re not queer).2. Time index 02:03- “Don’t tell Mama, I’m for Obama”Nothing to see here.

Thanks for making life more bearable, The Modern American’s Guide for Interpreting Other People’s Behavior: Women/Minority/Gay Edition™!

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Geraldine Ferraro, who thinks being black in America is an unfair advantage and who thinks she’s discriminated against because she’s white (rather than being dismissed for sounding like a crackpot), now says she probably won’t vote for Obama because he’s “terribly sexist.” I don’t remember “beating Hillary Clinton fair and square” being the definition of “sexist.”