The Ambulance

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  • But! But! 9-1-1 is socialist! It's government-run! It's using my tax dollars to help people OTHER THAN ME! I haven't had to call 9-1-1, so I don't use it, so I shouldn't have to pay for it! And those streets the ambulence drives over! MAINTAINED BY MY TAX DOLLARS. If I don't drive on them, my taxes shouldn't pay for them! IT'S ALL ABOUT ME. Otherwise, it's socialis--!

    ...Ow. Oh, ow. Ow. Ow. Sorry. Trying to think like that made my head hurt. Ow. Oh, man. I think I broke something in my brain.