Sasha Mitchell’s Man, part 6

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  • By the way, if it is meant to be manipulation, then as soon as person #1 gets what she wants from person #2, then person #2 would no longer be needed. He'd be expendable.

  • I once wrote an article about pickup lines and flirting. Oddly enough, when person #1 says she did something because YOU (person #2) failed to so so and so in the past, this often produces predictable results which enhance person #1 and depreciate person #2.

    This type of verbal (assault) only happens when person #2 has a low self esteem or is insecure. The logic of the argument is person #1 chose X as an action BECAUSE person #2 failed to do something, and therefore, person #2 should feel responsible and want to "make it up" by changing things in the present or doing something to salvage or make amends for his past failure.

    That is a VERY effective pick up line formula if there is a hidden or ulterior motive. Often, person #2 is being used. It works, but only if person #2 buys into it. I categorized this type of statement as unhealthy communication.

    By thinking and then speaking this way, one is able to escape responsibility and also formulate a rationale for not taking steps to improve a situation.

    A healthy response to this verbal assault would be to say something like, "That appears to be a compliment, but really it is not. I think the fact you latched on to someone means you put yourself in a position of being stuck. Perhaps you were looking for someone to give you happiness or a feeling of being worthy. No one can do that for you. Not him, and not me. In fact, I don't appreciate being blamed for your sorrows. I'm sorry bad things are happening to you, but I don't deserve to be verbally put in that position of being responsible for your choices in life."