• In LA. Hot, incredibly humid day + 10 mile bike ride alongside the exhaust-filled 5 freeway. What can possibly go wrong? #
• Picking up teenage niece at LAX today. Plan on holding up sign that reads “Cuty-pooty Muffintop” to scar her for life. #
• Just sent out all the Michael Jackson posters, so if you ordered one you’ll have it early next week. #
• Just sent out all the Michael Jackson posters so if you ordered one you’ll have it early next week. Http://tinyurl.com/n3avll #
• I would never use my platform to exact furious vengeance upon those who wrong me. Funny vengeance, though, is another story. #

• . The Telltale Sign http://bit.ly/18KBiW #
• Spent all evening hunting fruit flies in my apartment, only to find out they don’t make a very satisfying meal. #
• . The Epiphany, part 1 http://bit.ly/2cAVgw #
• This week’s new. Gonna be 1 more vacation week next week. Unavoidable. Serious &$*# going down here, people. You’d understand if I told you. #
• . The Epiphany, part 2 http://bit.ly/1Sxfbf #
• . The Epiphany, part 3 http://bit.ly/3xhug6 #
• Told cashier at Macy’s I hadn’t bought a new shirt in over a year. She thought it was strange till I reminded her I’m a guy. #
• . The Epiphany, part 4 http://bit.ly/19L9eV #
• . The Epiphany, part 5 http://bit.ly/3rGRoJ #

• I hope it's a good place. RT @IDJones942 Confession: @candorville is slowly taking over the place in my heart where Boondocks once resided. #
• Darrin's Random Discoveries, part 784: Never ride the LA River Bike Path at dusk unless you like killing dozens of mosquitos with your face. #
• One reader's saying my site is blank. Do u see a brick bacground, nav buttons & stuff, or a plain white site at http://www.Candorville.com ? #
• Colbert, Stewart, Paint Drying Channel… Need I go on? RT @davidsirota Give me a compelling reason to continue my cable TV subscription? #
• Just got back from 2013 where I watched Larry King interview Michael Jackson's neighbor's proctologist's dentist's hairdressser on CNNMSNBC. #
• If there's no sequel to District 9 in *exactly* three years, there is no God. #

• New comic: The Outgoing Message: http://tinyurl.com/n6x4wz #
• New Comic: The Hots, part 1 http://tinyurl.com/msxjdy #
• I'm as shocked as you are. RT @commish24 @candorville No! Not Dick! Mark Trail, Dick Tracy, the dad from Family Circus–anyone but Dick! #
• RT @jeffsonstein RT @candorville The Hots, part 1 http://tinyurl.com/msxjdy [we have *all* been there, on both sides of the conversation] #
• RT @rainnwilson Was going to call 911. Found out it was government run. Called various ambulance Co.s to have them bid. Died while on hold. #
• New Comic: Sleeping With the Enema, part 2
  http://tinyurl.com/kkqlgc #
• New Comic: Sleeping With the Enema, part 3
  http://tinyurl.com/kux2vo #
• What's more outrageous: that Martha Stewart just asked rapper Q-Tip if heHas gold plated q-tips at home or that I'm watching Martha Stewart? #
• New Comic: Sleeping With the Enema, part 4
  http://tinyurl.com/kklzk8 #
• A wise person once said "unless you tell me the name of the person you're quoting, the quote means nothing." #
• New Comic: Sleeping With the Enema, part 5
  http://tinyurl.com/lrgukp #
• If I could talk to any one person, living or dead, I think I'd rather do it living. #
• New Comic: Sleeping With the Enema, part 6
  http://tinyurl.com/my2hfz #

• New Comic: Darkness, part 1
  http://tinyurl.com/n484kx #
• New comic: Darkness, part 2
  http://tinyurl.com/nz5yko #
• GMail is down. I'm thumbing through Revelations to see if this is one of the signs. #
• New comic: Darkness, part 3
  http://tinyurl.com/lgdfec #
• The GOP's going to have to repeal the 22nd Amendment if they're serious about having Dick Cheney run for a third term in 2012. #
• New comic: Darkness, part 4
  http://tinyurl.com/np8h2g #
• New comic: Darkness, part 5
  http://tinyurl.com/mv2fmv #
• New comic: Needless to Say
  http://tinyurl.com/lwr7d3 #

• New comic: The Some People Story
  http://tinyurl.com/mnh9wx #
• New comic: Shrinking Lemont, part 1
  http://tinyurl.com/nqt2xn #
• New comic: Shrinking Lemont, part 2
  http://tinyurl.com/km2vvt #
• New comic: Shrinking Lemont, part 3
  http://tinyurl.com/lfnn4h #
• New comic: Shrinking Lemont, part 4
  http://tinyurl.com/o94xoq #
• Makes sense conservatives refuse 2 cover illegals. I believe Jesus once said "Heal the sick, unless they cannot document their citizenship." #

I’m STILL trying to wrap my head around GOP senators who vote in lockstep against EVERYTHING, calling the other party “partisan.”

WTF? MSNBC asks expert if this plane that hit the IRS would be like an SUV hitting it. He replies yes, but an SUV would hit it on the ground