A few months ago, I was flipping through my 500 channels of nothing looking for five or six that were watchable, when I came across a light-haired comedian standing on stage droning on about something or other. I could tell I’d come in in the middle of a story, but didn’t have the patience to find out what it was. Since he looked so depressed, I figured it was no big loss. Plus, I’d reached my three-second between-click limit, and it was time to move on; so I turned it to the God Help Me I Really Have Nothing to Do So I’ll Watch This Crap channel.

This morning, I opened my Twitter app and saw a tweet from Michael Fry about some comedian (Mike DeStefano, whom I’d never heard of before). He died today. There was a link. I clicked on it, and realized three things: (1) This was the same performance I’d clicked past months ago, (2) Far too many comedians die early (DeStefano, Jenner, Pryor, Robin Harris, Bernie Mack, Lenny Bruce, and on and on), and (3) I need to be more patient, because as it turns out, this story I flipped past is f%$#ing amazing. From now on, I’m going to wait at least five seconds between clicks.

It’s President’s Day, and you know what that means… While the rest of the country is celebrating the births of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, many in the South are celebrating the inauguration of Jefferson Davis, the first (and last) President of the Confederate States of America.

What better way to celebrate than to buy a copy of the brand new Candorville book, which chronicles the election of America’s first black President? Buy a copy of The Starbucks at the End of the World” for yourself; or to send to your Confederate-sympathizing uncle, so he’ll have something to read when he’s not reenacting the Battle of Harper’s Ferry.

INSIDE: As the Bush years come to an absurd conclusion, Barack Obama’s historic election – not to mention Lemont’s journalism career – hinges on a secret mission to rescue a prisoner of war. Lemont survives Embedded Journalists Boot Camp, but can he survive the boat mission up Vietnam’s Nodung River with Anderson Cooper and a crew of misfit soldiers? And what horrifying secret awaits them at the river’s end?

At home, Susan dates the Boyfriend-from-Hell as Dick Fink tries to steal her job. C-Dog goes to unbelievable lengths to prove Lemont’s fiancee is cheating and that Lemont may not be Lionel’s father. And when comedian George Carlin dies, Lemont accompanies him on his final journey and accidentally discovers the meaning of life.

Candorville has been described as “This generation’s Doonesbury, only a lot more surreal and irreverent.” Contains a whopping 750 comics, and Darrin Bell’s 2008 election night blog post about watching the election of the first black president with his 90 year-old grandfather!

To order:

Get the ARTIST’S EDITION, which comes stamped, numbered, and autographed, with an original sketch by Darrin Bell on the title page. Only 200 Artist’s Editions will be sold (only 150 left!), after which no books bought through the Candorville online store will contain a sketch by Darrin Bell:

AUTOGRAPHED – $30
(s&h included)

OR, if you’re allergic to autographs and just want the standard edition (or an e-book), order here:

PAPERBACK: $19.95

E-BOOK: $5.95

You can also complete your collection by getting the first THREE Candorville books!

…And all I want for my birthday is for you and all your friends, enemies, and pets to buy the brand new 4th Candorville book, “The Starbucks at the End of the World!”

INSIDE: As the Bush years come to an absurd conclusion, Barack Obama’s historic election – not to mention Lemont’s journalism career – hinges on a secret mission to rescue a prisoner of war. Lemont survives Embedded Journalists Boot Camp, but can he survive the boat mission up Vietnam’s Nodung River with Anderson Cooper and a crew of misfit soldiers? And what horrifying secret awaits them at the river’s end?

At home, Susan dates the Boyfriend-from-Hell as Dick Fink tries to steal her job. C-Dog goes to unbelievable lengths to prove Lemont’s fiancee is cheating and that Lemont may not be Lionel’s father. And when comedian George Carlin dies, Lemont accompanies him on his final journey and accidentally discovers the meaning of life.

Candorville has been described as “This generation’s Doonesbury, only a lot more surreal and irreverent.” Contains a whopping 750 comics, and Darrin Bell’s 2008 election night blog post about watching the election of the first black president with his 90 year-old grandfather!

To order:

Get the ARTIST’S EDITION, which comes stamped, numbered, and autographed, with an original sketch by Darrin Bell on the title page. Only 200 Artist’s Editions will be sold (only 150 left!), after which no books bought through the Candorville online store will contain a sketch by Darrin Bell:

AUTOGRAPHED – $30
(s&h included)

OR, if you’re allergic to autographs and just want the standard edition (or an e-book), order here:

PAPERBACK: $19.95

E-BOOK: $5.95

You can also complete your collection by getting the first THREE Candorville books!

Get your copy of the brand new Candorville collection: “The Starbucks at the End of the World“!

INSIDE: As the Bush years come to an absurd conclusion, Barack Obama’s historic election – not to mention Lemont’s journalism career – hinges on a secret mission to rescue a prisoner of war. Lemont survives Embedded Journalists Boot Camp, but can he survive the boat mission up Vietnam’s Nodung River with Anderson Cooper and a crew of misfit soldiers? And what horrifying secret awaits them at the river’s end?

At home, Susan dates the Boyfriend-from-Hell as Dick Fink tries to steal her job. C-Dog goes to unbelievable lengths to prove Lemont’s fiancee is cheating and that Lemont may not be Lionel’s father. And when comedian George Carlin dies, Lemont accompanies him on his final journey and accidentally discovers the meaning of life.

Candorville has been described as “This generation’s Doonesbury, only a lot more surreal and irreverent.” Contains a whopping 750 comics, and Darrin Bell’s 2008 election night blog post about watching the election of the first black president with his 90 year-old grandfather!

To order:

PAPERBACK: $19.95

E-BOOK: $5.95

OR… get the ARTIST’S EDITION, which comes stamped, numbered, and autographed, with an original sketch by Darrin Bell on the title page. Only 200 Artist’s Editions will be sold, after which no books bought through the Candorville online store will contain a sketch by Darrin Bell:

AUTOGRAPHED – $30
(s&h included)

You can also complete your collection by getting the first THREE Candorville books!

Biking at my favorite spot in Berkeley again, wearing shorts, in 50 degree weather. Figured this was the best way to force myself to appreciate the inferno that awaits me in Los Angeles.

Driving back to LA today, if anyone wants a signed copy of Katrina’s Ghost, forget to use your turn signals and drive way too slowly in the fast lane on the Five freeway. I’ll toss the book to you through any open window, as hard as I can.